INTRODUCTION: From Autopilot to Aliveness: A Man’s Journey After Divorce

A fashionably dressed professional man pauses to check his phone while walking to a meeting in rainy weather.

“From Autopilot to Aliveness: A Man’s Journey After Divorce” is a 9-part series offering practical wisdom and soul-deep encouragement for men navigating the emotional upheaval of early divorce.

Divorce is more than a legal process. It’s a disease of the soul.

It forces a split not just between two people who spent years—even decades— "becoming one," but also between two souls. It’s a death on two levels.

As men, when divorcing and in post-divorce, we often experience emotions so raw, so profound, that we resort our old scripts of perceived invulnerability, e.g., "I got this," or "I can handle my business," Stoic scripts, e.g., “I’ve been through worse," or Suppression scripts, e.g, “Man up," and "Suck it up." We use scripts steeped in Hyper-Self-Reliance, e.g., “I handle my business alone,” and "I got this," Image Managing scripts, e.g., “Never let them see you sweat," and “I can’t afford to show weakness," and scripts to convey a sense of Control, Dominance & Deflection, e.g., “I’m the man of the house—my word is final,” “You either lead or get out of the way," and , “This is just how I am—deal with it.”

They work for a while — eventually they fail us.

We can rationalize the sufferings caused by court mandates. We can split community property and try to contain the impact cognitively with minimizing scripts, "It's just material stuff that can be replaced."

But the pain of a soul-splitting defies containment.

We can’t just “suck it up” and move on—yet many men try, only to find the cost of ignoring ourselves is steep:

✅ Emotional numbness.

✅ Disconnection from our kids.

✅ Losing any sense of who we really are.

⸻

This blog series is for men who want more.

It’s for those willing to admit that autopilot isn’t working.

Too many of us bury the pain in work, busyness, anger, or silence. We stay “strong” by shutting down what hurts. But the cost of ignoring ourselves is high: disconnection, numbness, and a slow erosion of who we’re meant to be. I am not talk to you as one who read about this. I am sharing my story mingled with those of men I have encountered and coached for over 30 years.

This series is an invitation to slow down, face the truth, and start rebuilding — not just your schedule or your bank account, but your soul, the seed of your authentic self. I am talking above not just surviving divorce but leveraging it for vigorous, impactful life.

Across these posts, I’ll share what I’ve learned on my own journey: the painful truths, the small victories, the questions that opened my eyes, and the practices that helped me move from numb survival to authentic, values-based living.

Each post offers reflections, stories, and prompts to help you:

✅ Wake up to what you’ve been avoiding.

✅ Feel what you need to feel to accelerate your journey.

✅ Reclaim your deepest values.

✅ Make choices that align with the man you want to be.

This isn’t about quick fixes. It’s about the real work of becoming fully alive again.

If you’re ready to stop living on autopilot and start living with intention, you’re in the right place. Let's walk and talk.