"I Thought I Was Ready To Change, I Thought"

Journaling, taking solo hikes, reading blogs, listening to podcasts, flipping through magazines in airports, grocery store checkouts, and yes, at the one Barnes and Noble still standing, left me frustrated, perplexed, even grieved. A former high school teacher, Ph.D. student, college professor, senior pastor, chaplain, I'd devoted over 25 years of my professional life advocating for human growth and transformation, and the one person I'd known all my life, who needed my help the most, I could not help make any real life change-- me. Seemed like every mirror I looked at, looked back at me with eyes of embarrassment, frustration. Let's set aside the fact that I'd failed in marriage.

It's just me in the gaze of my reflection, alone, staring back at myself, guilty of failing me. I thought, I was certain, I was ready to change, but ...

More to come.